


Morning, Doyoung

by maeung



Series: The Morning Commute [2]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - After College/University, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Lawyers, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun is Whipped, M/M, dojae still on their shit, doyoung still has a tattoo, slightly happy ending i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-28
Updated: 2019-01-28
Packaged: 2019-10-17 23:25:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17569913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maeung/pseuds/maeung
Summary: In which Jaehyun's seatmate on the morning bus is the only constant left in his life.[sequel to "Morning, Stranger.”]





	Morning, Doyoung

Jaehyun relaxes in the mornings. His days are hectic and filled with legal jargon that makes his head spin, so every day after he wakes up he likes to sit next to the window in his kitchen and drink a cup of coffee that has been drowned in creamer and sugar. His apartment is rather nice, from an outside perspective, but on the silent mornings like these with only the clock ticking in the background he feels like everything is too cold. Jaehyun shivers, glances at the clock, and dumps his sugary sludge that’s barely brown down the sink. Then he grabs his briefcase and exits his home.

There’s approximately five minutes he needs to wait until the bus arrives, and five minutes after that before his seatmate comes barreling down the aisle, panting as he slams himself down on the bus seat next to Jaehyun. “Morning, stranger. Wake up late again?” Jaehyun asks. His seatmate nods in response, still trying to catch his breath. Jaehyun laughs and his seatmate turns to glare at him. Jaehyun smiles back. His seatmate is tall, taller than Jaehyun, and he has dark hair that is always pushed off of his forehead. The light behind Jaehyun hits his face, making his seatmate’s eyes glow, eyes that are currently glaring at him. “I like your hair,” Jaehyun says.

“Thanks,” his seatmate mumbles. Then he turns forward, nervously tapping his hand against his thigh. Jaehyun sits in content silence before he stands up, leaving the bus. When he turns around, his seatmate smiles weakly at him, and Jaehyun chalks it up as another win for him.

  


“When’s your new roommate coming in?” Jaehyun asked.

“Sometime soon,” Johnny said, checking his phone from where his long body was sprawled over the side of his bed, “he should actually be on his way up anytime now.”

“You should wait downstairs for him. He might need help,” Jaehyun said.

Johnny rolled his eyes, “are you gonna come too?”

“Why would I?”

“Because ever since you found out my new roommate was Kim Doyoung you’ve been weirdly interested in him.”

“I think it’s time for me to go,” Jaehyun muttered, pulling on his coat to avoid revealing his pink cheeks.

Johnny stood up, following Jaehyun out the door, “I’m just saying.”

“He’s in a couple of my classes.”

Johnny nodded in understanding. Jaehyun walked down the hall before he turned around and called to Johnny, “don’t say anything about me to him, alright? He probably doesn’t even know I exist.”

Johnny ignored him, “I think I’ll go down now, after all wouldn’t want your crush to break an arm trying to bring all of his stuff up.”

“Fuck off Johnny.”

  


Jaehyun likes a photo of Johnny and Taeil’s engagement post and feels a sour twist in his stomach. He slips his phone back into his pocket upon noticing his seatmate walking over. “Morning, stranger.” He says and receives a nod in return.

Jaehyun spends the bus ride in silence, not because he doesn’t want to talk, but because he’s suddenly reminded that he hasn’t talked to Johnny or Taeil in a long time. He busies himself with random bits of paperwork before it’s his time to get off the bus. “God I need coffee,” Jaehyun thinks.

  


**[JOHNNY] dude. he thinks ur like a fukin god or smthng.** Johnny wasn’t the most eloquent texter, but this message still got Jaehyun’s attention. Jaehyun tuned out Mark ranting about some annoying kid in his psych class named Dong-something or other to respond.

**Really??? Why????**

**[JOHNNY] apparently ur ‘the most popular law student on campus.’ lmao sure**

**[JOHNNY] he also remembered the time u hooked up w jungwoo and then didnt remember him**

**Oh god I hate it when people bring that up**

**[JOHNNY] yeah :/**

**[JOHNNY] he wants to meet u tho 4 some reason**

Jaehyun set his phone down, a smile growing on his face. “Mark, shut up for a second.”

“What?” Mark stopped mid-rant, “yeah sure man.” Jaehyun grinned like a maniac and then screamed into his pillow.

  


“Morning, stranger,” Jaehyun mutters. This bus ride he actually has extra paperwork to look through, since his firm suddenly decided to dump the most difficult case of the century into his lap. His seatmate is wearing a facemask today, and looks a little worse for wear.

“Tough day at work?” he asks weakly.

“Yeah,” Jaehyun sighs, closing the file. “I have a big case up soon.” His seatmate nods.

“You’ll do great,” he says. Jaehyun looks up into his seatmates eyes and smiles, suddenly feeling 10 pounds lighter.

“Thanks!” He says. That day, Jaehyun finds the courage to turn and wave at his seatmate. He beams and forgets about the stressful case for a second when his seatmate returns it.

  


Jaehyun was just chatting with Johnny when Doyoung burst into the dorm room, creating a mini-tornado of chaos before he chugged an entire bottle of beer.

“Woah Doyoung what the fuck-”

Doyoung’s eyes burned with rage when he slammed down the bottle, “fuck Professor Lee, that bitch gave me an 85 on my paper when we both know damn well that I deserved a 93 at least. He just hates me because I destroyed his deposition last week.”

Jaehyun perked up, “oh I remember that, it was really good!” Doyoung whirled around, laid his eyes on Jaehyun, and immediately turned to glare at Johnny who was looking way too amused.

“Fuck you,” he hissed.

Jaehyun wasn’t sure what was going on, but he extended his hand, “my name is Jung Jaehyun.”

Doyoung looked back at him awkwardly and shook  his hand, “Kim Doyoung.” Jaehyun refrained from saying, “I know.”

Then his eyes went down, looking for something, anything, when he saw it. “That tattoo is so cool!” Jaehyun said, tracing his fingers over Doyoung’s hand, the elegant lines of the sparrow tattoo shifting gently with the movements of Doyoung’s palm.

“Thanks,” Doyoung mumbled and Jaehyun looked up, just barely registering how soft Doyoung’s hand was when he dropped it like a rock. Johnny was having the time of his life.

“Sorry,” Jaehyun said sheepishly. “Fuck you’ve done it now Jaehyun.” Jaehyun scolding himself in his thoughts. He was a man of opportunity, however, and he used this moment of awkwardly looking at each other to scan his eyes across his features. Kim Doyoung is even prettier up close, he realized.

“Let’s grab something to eat,” Johnny said, his keys in hand.

“Alright,” Jaehyun said, and turned to Doyoung, putting on his best ‘my name is Jung Jaehyun love me’ smile, “you coming?”

“Sure.” Doyoung said.

Jaehyun wasn’t sure when he became brave enough to scribble his name and number on the back of the greasy hamburger receipt, but he thanked every god in the universe later that night.

**[DOYOUNG] hey**

  


“Morning, stranger.” His seatmate waves. He’s on the phone that morning, and Jaehyun uses that opportunity to scan over his seatmate’s face. He’s handsome, in an elegant way, but his teeth jut out slightly in a way that makes him seem adorable.

“Okay Taeyong, I understand. See you at work,” his seatmate says and hangs up.

Jaehyun glances outside, “nice day, huh?” Doyoung looks behind him and nods.

“Yeah, if you like trash and cigarette smoke,” Jaehyun laughs in response, his giggles dying out when he sees the exasperated smile on his seatmate’s face. “What?” his seatmate asks.

Jaehyun is thrown back to a small cramped apartment when everything was good and he laughed harder than he ever had at the snarky remarks of a dark-haired man. “Nothing. You just remind me of someone I used to know.”

  


Jaehyun knocked on their dorm room and his eyes immediately went up from where Doyoung’s hands rested on the doorknob to his face. He blanked for approximately 15 seconds, staring into those eyes before he blinked and gazed appreciatively over the lavender sweater that swallowed Doyoung’s form and bunched up around his wrists (and if he spent an extra five seconds eyeing the pale sliver of his collarbones that was nobody’s business).

Jaehyun was in the clouds when Doyoung just agreed with him after he accidently let it slip that he was looking forward to and already planning their next date.

He was on top of the moon when they held hands on the way back, and despite the chilly weather Jaehyun felt like he could fly.

He reached the stars when Doyoung kissed him back at the end of the night.

He ignored the nagging feeling in the back of his mind that he should be telling Doyoung something.

 

His seatmate is almost late again, and spends a few seconds in his seat recovering from the physical activity. “Morning, stranger!” Jaehyun laughs.

“Fuck mornings,” his seatmate mutters.

“I’m a morning person,” Jaehyun says, amused.

“I know,” his seatmate rolls his eyes.

“Yeah it’s probably pretty noticeable, I’m always the most cheerful person on this bus.” Jaehyun smiles. When it’s time for him to leave, he hands Doyoung a small piece of orange candy that he usually saves for the daughter of the bellhop who runs around the lobby of his apartment building. “Hope it brightens up your day!”

His seatmate looks at it before saying “thanks,” and pocketing the treat, offering Jaehyun a small smile.

  


“I’m so sorry about dinner,” Jaehyun said, three months into their relationship, on a day when Jaehyun really tried to get the dorm kitchen to cooperate with him and make a nice dinner before ultimately giving up and ordering out.

“It’s fine,” Doyoung snickered.

“I’m also sorry about my roommate and his friend.” Jaehyun grumbled, remembering how Yukhei had yelled at them to “use protection!” before being shoved out by Mark.

“That’s also fine. It was funny,” Doyoung smiled at Jaehyun, and Jaehyun ducked down to cover up his red cheeks. They talked about everything and nothing, about school and Johnny’s idiotic way of handling relationships. But halfway through dinner, when Doyoung laughed so hard he snorted and almost choked on a noodle, and Jaehyun looked at him like he was the sun, Jaehyun decided it was time.

“Doyoung, I need to tell you something.”

“Yeah Jae?” Doyoung slurped a noodle, not noticing the sauce on his chin, looking at him with wide eyes. “What’s up?”

Jaehyun wished he could remember that image forever. But instead he laughed and wiped off the sauce with a napkin. Jaehyun’s heart pounded and he picked up Doyoung’s hand, tracing over the lines of the small sparrow to comfort him. “I don’t really know how to start this.”

“You can tell me anything,” Doyoung said softly.

“I have this—thing,” Jaehyun said, shifting his free hand to his head to wring it through his hair, “it’s called prosopagnosia.” The second the words were out Jaehyun wanted to take them back.

“Prosopag-what?” Doyoung laughed, and Jaehyun latched onto the positive sound, “you know that I refused to be a med student, what the hell is that?”

Jaehyun gave a small smile, “I don’t blame you, not a lot of people know about it. It’s not very serious, actually. Prosopagnosia is a memory disorder. I’m not good with faces.” Jaehyun said bitterly. “Yeah, that’s one way to phrase it,” he thought.

“What do you mean?” Doyoung seemed confused.

“Like how some people are better at remembering names and some people are better at remembering faces? It’s really really hard for me to remember a face,” Jaehyun continued, “it’s like I meet someone, and they walk away, and then if I see them again I can’t recognize them. But it’s just faces, like I can remember someone by the watch they wear, or the way they do their hair. And-” Jaehyun took a deep breath, “it happens with everyone, even if I’ve known them for years.”

Doyoung’s hand froze in Jaehyun’s grip. “Oh.”

Jaehyun let his hand fall slack, “I understand if you’re hurt.”

“I-I think I need time to think.” Doyoung said softly. Jaehyun flinched. He listened to the sound of Doyoung putting on his coat while his breathing quickened, trying to keep it together. He felt tears forming in the corners of his eyes and he refused to look up at Doyoung. Suddenly, delicate fingers were pushing Jaehyun’s chin up, and he was met with Doyoung’s face, his perfect, beautiful, face. Jaehyun stared at Doyoung as hard as he could, wishing with every fiber of his being that some part of it would be imprinted into his memory, but he already knew that no matter how hard he tried or how long he looked, it wouldn’t work. Doyoung leaned down and his lips gently laid over Jaehyun’s. Jaehyun’s eyes fluttered shut and he missed the way Doyoung smiled when he reached forward to chase him. “Let me just think, Jae. I’ll talk to you later.”

Jaehyun watched Doyoung go, silently, before he spoke, the tears that were welling up before now escaping.

“You promise?”

  


“Morning, stranger,” Jaehyun grins after his seatmate had walked cheerfully on the bus and then greeted him with an equally wide smile. “Someone’s in a good mood today.”

“I got a promotion,” his seatmate says gleefully.

“Congratulations!” Jaehyun says, and lifts up his hand for a high-five, when he notices it. His throat closes before he chokes out, “woah, that’s such a cool tattoo.” A floral design sprawls across his seatmate’s hand.

His seatmate retracts his hand and says, “thanks,” quietly. When his seatmate offers a weak smile when Jaehyun leaves, all Jaehyun can think of is elegant grey sparrows.

  


Jaehyun was a mess when he opened the door. Mark was sitting quietly in the background, headphones in and working on something for his soundcloud rapper career. “Hey, can we talk?” Doyoung asked quietly.

“Yeah, sure. Of course.” Jaehyun said quickly and grabbed his sweatshirt, shutting the door behind him.

They ended up walking aimlessly around the city, the lights illuminating Doyoung’s face so Jaehyun can see his dark circles. The tense silence is broken by Doyoung. “Johnny whipped some sense into me.”

“He does that,” Jaehyun said quietly.

“Jaehyun,” Doyoung says, “you are the way you are, but I don’t care.”

Jaehyun stops under a streetlight, allowing the orange light to wash over them. “What are you saying?” He asks hopefully.

“I want to get back together,” Doyoung said, looking up at Jaehyun with renewed fierceness in his eyes. “Prosopagnosia—or whatever the fuck it’s called—can fuck off because I don’t give a shit about it. You obviously like me for some reason, not just because of my beautiful face,” Doyoung grinned, “even though you’re missing out on a lot.”

Jaehyun laughed, his heart feeling lighter than it had in weeks.

“But none of it matters because god damn it, Jung Jaehyun, I am in love with you.” With that, Doyoung unceremoniously wrapped his hands around Jaehyun’s neck, kissing him so hard it was like he wanted Jaehyun to have bruises. Jaehyun smiled into the kiss gleefully, wrapping his arms around Doyoung’s waist. It was dark, the only light there gave an unflattering orange wash over their skin, bugs flew over their heads circling around the streetlamp, it smelled vaguely of gasoline, and it was a little too cold for the sweatshirt he pulled on before he left, but he was the happiest he had ever been.

“I love you too.”

That morning, when Doyoung crept around his dorm room to prevent Mark from waking up, Jaehyun watched hazily as Doyoung’s elegant form shuffled around his dorm room, neck littered with bruises that were turning a pretty purple. He was on cloud nine, and nothing could bring him down, not even the fact that when Jaehyun closed his eyes, he could remember the hickies better than Doyoung’s eyes.

  


Jaehyun didn’t have a good morning. His apartment was even colder than usual, and Jaehyun’s eyes avoided the empty spots where he could remember tiny things belonging to someone else in his space. “Morning, stranger.” Jaehyun says weakly. He stares out the window, eyes flicking over dark streetlights.

His seatmate tugs on his arm that morning, Jaehyun turns, already standing up to leave, before his seatmate hands a small green candy in Jaehyun’s hand.

It’s the same brand as the candy Jaehyun gave him a week ago. “You look like you needed this,” his seatmate says.

Jaehyun feels a smile tugging on the corner of his lips as he unwraps the candy and pops it into his mouth. “Thanks!”

He walks into work feeling much better.

  


Moving in was one of the best decisions Jaehyun made. He relished in the feeling of utter domesticity as Doyoung and he sat down for breakfast every morning before work, and lamented about their days over dinner at their kitchen table. God, they had a kitchen table. Jaehyun hadn’t seen one of those since he started college.

There was a random horror movie on the TV, one that Jaehyun ignored in favor of cuddling with Doyoung. They had just been talking about anniversary plans, when Doyoung spoke up. “What do you see?”

“What do you mean?”

“Like because of your prosopagnosia. What do you see?”

Jaehyun paused, his eyes tracing lazily over Doyoung’s features, “your eyes are brown,” he said hesitantly, “they’re so big and innocent looking, but at the same time angled,” they pierce through Jaehyun’s soul, “they have this spark in them so anyone can tell that you’re the smartest person in the room. Your nose is elegant and cute, you have high cheekbones like a celebrity, and your lips are perfect,” Jaehyun leaned down to kiss him, “but your teeth also make you look like a rabbit.”

Doyoung’s face morphed into one that’s offended, pushing him away as Jaehyun laughed. Jaehyun reached out and pulled Doyoung back into him, so he was almost in his lap. He reached up to thread his hand into Doyoung’s hair, “it’s like I can describe all of the things that make you gorgeous, but then they completely leave my mind when I blink,” Jaehyun said, nervously telling Doyoung everything that plagued his mind. “When I look at you, I’m trying to absorb every single feature on your face.” Doyoung got quiet, staring down at Jaehyun, “It hurts me to look away because I know I’m just going to forget the way the most beautiful man in the world looks,” Jaehyun spoke quietly, “but then it’s like, everytime I see you again, I’m seeing you for the first time, and I fall in love with you over and over again. Everytime I look at you I realize how breathtaking you are. And I’m just reminded that I’m the luckiest person in the world.”

Later that night, moonlight filtered in through their bedroom window, sending a streak over Doyoung’s nose bridge as Jaehyun stared at his sleeping face. “I’d give away everything to remember you.” Jaehyun whispered. Then he shifted over onto his back, closing his eyes. An arm slid across his chest and Jaehyun froze. “I thought you were asleep,” he said weakly.

“I wasn’t,” Doyoung said, hooking a leg over Jaehyun’s waist and straddling him. Jaehyun’s hands automatically rose to grip Doyoung waist as he leaned down, breath mixing with Jaehyun’s. “You said you’d give everything to be able to remember me, right?”

“Y-yeah,” Jaehyun stuttered as Doyoung’s lips traced over his neck.

“Then I guess I have to give you something to remember.”

  


“Morning, stranger,” Jaehyun says and his seatmate waves back. “Today’s going to be weird.”

“Why?”

“Remember that big case? It’s today,” Jaehyun says nervously. He’d prepared for too long, put too much effort in for things to go bad.

“Good luck,” his seatmate says.

“Thanks, I’ll need it.” Jaehyun whispers, and looks down at his phone. The sight of his background screen, a familiar hand with a graceful and beautiful swallow tattoo spread across it calms him.

Jaehyun is so nervous that he doesn’t even realize that his seatmate didn’t wave at him that day.

  


The night had started out well, a gathering of friends who needed to catch up. But now Jaehyun was staring at Doyoung’s face, and he was avoiding his gaze.

“What? The story about that guy from the club?” Jaehyun furrowed his brow, trying to figure out what Doyoung was mad about. So what he told Johnny and Taeil about the time Jaehyun mistook another guy for Doyoung and danced with him, it was funny and Doyoung even laughed about it at the time.

“It’s embarrassing,” Doyoung met his gaze, his mouth turning down.

“How? It’s just a funny story.”

“I don’t know,” Doyoung sighed, “it just is.”

Jaehyun’s eyes narrowed as he realized what this was really about. “Doyoung, I literally can’t help the way I am, I already told you I was sorry that night-”

“It’s just embarrassing that you can’t even recognize me sometimes. I feel like-”

“What do you feel like?” Jaehyun was starting to get angry.

“I feel like if you just saw me walking around I’d just be another faceless person in the crowd.” Silence enveloped the couple.

“Okay,” Jaehyun felt tired. More tired than he had in a long time.

“Okay? Just okay?” Doyoung pressed.

“I don’t know Doyoung, I just don’t know,” Jaehyun wrung his hands together, his eyes briefly flickering over Doyoung’s elegant sparrow tattoo, feeling immediate calm spreading over him. Doyoung saw where his eyes were looking and he tucked his hand behind his back. The calm was gone.

“Don’t know what?”

“I don’t know if you’d be wrong.” Jaehyun said.

Doyoung looked at him, expression unreadable, before he shoved past Jaehyun. He flinched when he heard the bedroom door slam. Jaehyun stood in the kitchen, and the air felt heavy, the only sound was the slow ticking of the clock.

Jaehyun slammed his hands down on the counter, his head hanging low, “god damn it.”

**Johnny, I fucked up**

**[JOHNNY] i know. doyoung told me.**

Jaehyun slept on the couch that night, and refused to acknowledge the fact that he even though he couldn’t remember the look of pain that was on Doyoung’s face when he ran away, he could still feel it.

  


The next morning Jaehyun wakes up feeling like shit. As he sits on his couch, bundled in a pile of blankets and sipping canned chicken noodle soup as a shitty korean drama plays on TV, he wonders how his seatmate is doing.

  


Jaehyun walked through the airport, already missing the presence of Doyoung next to him. He looked down at his phone screen, smiling when he saw the picture he had asked Doyoung to take. It was their hands intertwined, Doyoung’s on top so Jaehyun could see the grey sparrow lining his knuckles. Doyoung had sent him a long message filled with heart emojis wishing him safe travels that filled Jaehyun with warmth, and it almost made sitting in the cold airport worth it. Almost.

Jaehyun hated business trips. He hated how the only time he could see Doyoung now was in his dreams, and he hated even more how the Doyoung in his dreams was always missing a face.

He hated how recently, it seemed like he saw the picture on his lock screen more than he saw Doyoung.

  


That day’s “morning, stranger,” is a little muffled because Jaehyun is wearing a face mask.

“Did you get sick?”

“Yeah,” Jaehyun laughs, “I guess that big case stressed me out so much that once it was done I just crashed. I spent yesterday huddled in my bed.”

“Well it’s good that you’re better now.” His seatmate said, and Jaehyun smiled at the thought of him being worried for him.

“Well I couldn’t disappoint my seatmate two days in a row,” Jaehyun says, grinning. His seatmate rolls his eyes, but still smiles.

Jaehyun promises that he’ll try to get sick less.

  


They’d been fighting a lot lately. Jaehyun had started to resent the sound of his phone going off, alone in a cold hotel room that was the complete opposite of his warm home. Everytime, they always made up, exchanging cheesy texts, but even Jaehyun could tell that Doyoung was avoiding their problems.

Johnny told Jaehyun that Doyoung had been feeling frustrated lately.

Jaehyun sat on the uncomfortable hotel bed, looking at an old piece of paper, barely held together. He had written it a few months into their relationship, and Jaehyun’s eyes furiously read over it.

_Kim Doyoung. He has deep brown eyes (like the coffee he likes to drink) that are full of intelligence. When he gets excited they light up and when he’s in the sun, his eyes shine a bright amber. They’re huge, like doe’s eyes, but they also tilt upward and the corners are angled. He has a low forehead but high cheekbones. His nose is straight and slopes gracefully.  His jawline is delicate and soft, not sharp at all. His chin comes together like a V but it’s not pointy, it’s rounded. His lips are the perfect shade of pink, and aren’t thick or thin, more in the middle (but tbh, on the thin side). His bottom lip is bigger, and his top lip has the prettiest pronounced cupid’s bow. His teeth jut out a little, and his cheeks are soft and have a little bit of baby fat on them._

_Kim Doyoung is the most beautiful man in the world, don’t forget him._

Jaehyun eyes scanned over the words for the fifth time that night, and he matched up the features with a little polaroid of Doyoung from his wallet that they had taken with Johnny’s camera. Then he closed his eyes and—

Nothing. He could remember nothing.

Jaehyun’s eyes flew open, and he grabbed the paper and photo, flinging it across the room. He grabbed his phone, closing out of the browsers, labeled “Prosopagnosia: cure?,” “Prosopagnosia: what is it, and can it be treated,” “Is There a Cure For Face-Blindness?” and more, too many to count. His hands shook as Jaehyun covered his face with his hands, ignoring how they came back wet when his phone dinged and he reached out to grab it.

**[DOYOUNG] i know it’s late out there, so good night jae! sweet dreams, we’ll be back together in no time💕**

Jaehyun smiled weakly and stood up, gingerly picking up the piece of paper and photo, before sitting down to try again.

  


Jaehyun is happy that he’s finally over his illness, and he beams at his seatmate. “Morning, stranger.” It grows even wider when Jaehyun notices how his seatmate falters and blushes slightly, “what have you been up to lately?”

“Just work. My company is thinking of sending me out to Busan to handle a problem with their parent corporation.” His seatmate says casually. Jaehyun ignores the pang in his heart at the mention of traveling.

“I used to travel a lot for work, it was exciting in the beginning but it’s not all fun,” Jaehyun says bitterly.

“Yeah,” his seatmate says quietly.

“Well,” Jaehyun shakes the sad expression off of his face, “I’ll miss you. Who will I have random small talk with now in the morning?” His seatmate shakes his head in exasperation, but still laughs.

Jaehyun wishes him safe travels.

  


Jaehyun saw it coming. He’s in another hotel room, different than before, but just as cold and impersonal.

**[DOYOUNG] Jae, I’ve been feeling this for a while now and I think we really need a break. It’s nothing you did, it’s just some problems I’ve been dealing with. I hope we can still be friends and talk because you’re an amazing person I just don’t think I’m ready to have a relationship with you right now.**

Jaehyun reads the message over and over again, wishing desperately to wake up from whatever nightmare he’s in. But it’s not a dream, it’s real, and Jaehyun understands.

 **Okay**.

Jaehyun understands why Doyoung broke up with him. It’s hard—too hard—to be in a relationship with someone who can’t even recognize him. Jaehyun understands that Doyoung doesn’t deserve that, that nobody deserves that. Jaehyun understands that he’s never going to get over Doyoung. Jaehyun understands that Doyoung’s better off without him.

But that doesn’t mean that he likes it.

Alone, in a different country, in a hotel room with ugly carpeting and sheets that hold no warmth, Jaehyun felt his heart break.

  


Jaehyun is glad to see his seatmate. “Morning, stranger. Man, I haven’t said that in a while, I feel like it’s been forever. How was Busan?”

“It was good,” his seatmate responds, “nice to get a change of scenery.”

Jaehyun decides to be bold, “I don’t know, I really like the scenery right now.”

“Shut up,” his seatmate grumbles, and Jaehyun pretends to not see the way he smiles.

Jaehyun was really feeling confident that day, because when he gets off the bus, he blows a kiss. He doesn’t get one back, but maybe one day he will.

  


Jaehyun was a broken man, but also one with a job. He threw himself into his work and managed to get home two weeks early, but when he did, he immediately wished he was back in that stupid hotel room.

The apartment was half empty, all traces of Doyoung had completely vanished. Jaehyun’s head felt faint as he looked over all the spots where Doyoung had been. The flowers he liked on the kitchen table were gone, his favorite blanket on the couch was missing. Jaehyun walked into the bedroom, and stared at the half-empty closet for longer than he wished to remember.

He’d been living in a dream for the past month, but now, the reality hit. Jaehyun wasn’t sure what to do, so he did what he had done all his life, he tried to forget.

But he couldn’t. A week later, he could still feel Doyoung’s absence. He felt it when he saw Doyoung’s favorite brand of coffee sitting in their cabinet, when he went to sleep on the bed that was now way too big, when he saw the old piece of paper and polaroid lying untouched on his bedside table.

Kim Doyoung had permeated his life, and when he left, he ripped away half of Jaehyun with him. There was no way Jaehyun could forget that.

  


Jaehyun blinks when he sees his seatmate. “Morning, stranger. You’re dressed fancy today.” Jaehyun eyes the way his seatmate’s blazer fits over his shoulders.

“Lunch meeting with a client,” his seatmate says, and adjusts his floral tie.

“Your tie matches your tattoo,” Jaehyun comments.

“Yeah, I guess it does,” his seatmate says and lines up his tattoo with his tie.

“You look good,” Jaehyun means it.

“Thank you.”

That day, Jaehyun waves at his seatmate’s form in the bus window, and he waves back.

  


A month after the breakup, Jaehyun had decided he has had enough. He figured that Johnny and Taeil must know where Doyoung is, but when he arrived, Johnny could only sigh and shrug in response.

“C’mon, you have to know where he is.”

Johnny hesitated, “I might.”

“I knew it!” Jaehyun declared, whirled around and jabbing his finger into Johnny’s chest. “Where is he?”

“Doyoung—I don’t think he wants to be found right now.” Johnny looked at Jaehyun sadly.

“But I need to talk to him,” Jaehyun said quietly.

“Jaehyun?” He turned to face the new voice, seeing Taeil at the entrance to Johnny’s room. “You might want to go home.”

“You’re kicking me out?” Jaehyun said, turning back to Johnny.

“No—yes? It’s just, you don’t look good right now. Go home, actually get a full night of sleep.”

Jaehyun looked between Johnny and Taeil before sighing, his shoulders dropping. “Fine.”

The hallway carpet was slightly dingey, but Jaehyun pretended to be immersed in the ugly floral design as Taeil shooed him out of their apartment. He kept his head down while the elevator dinged in front of him, but he was shocked out of his sulking when his shoulder slammed into someone. “Woah, are you okay?” Jaehyun automatically asked.

He looked down to see a man staring up at him with a look of horror. Now, Jaehyun wasn’t stupid. The man had familiar dark hair, wide shoulders, a slim build, big eyes, high cheekbones, graceful features, and pretty lips. Jaehyun’s eyes widened at the sight of Kim Doyoung in front of him. Doyoung’s hair was messy, his eyes puffy and red like he’d just been crying, and he had intense dark circles. “Y-yeah, I’m fine.” Doyoung said.

Jaehyun stayed silent, not sure if it was actually Doyoung or if he was hallucinating. Jaehyun grabbed Doyoung’s hand and helped him up. There was only one way to find out if it was actually Doyoung. His eyes flickered down at his hand, and Jaehyun’s world froze when he saw an unfamiliar spread of flowers over Doyoung’s knuckles. “I’ll get out of your way.” Jaehyun whispered and rushed past Doyoung into the elevator.

He kept his eyes down and ignored the way his eyes felt heavy and blurry.

**Why didn’t you tell me Doyoung had his tattoo covered up?**

**[JOHNNY] sorry. he didn’t want you to know.**

Jaehyun slumped down against the wall of the elevator. “He doesn’t want me to recognize him,” he whispered.

His heart broke for the second time.

  


“Morning, stranger.”

The bus ride to work is filled with Jaehyun making stupid jokes, trying to get a reaction from his seatmate. He laughs, but never says much.

Everyday Jung Jaehyun sits next to the same man on the way to work. Jaehyun can only remember a handful of people in his life, but he remembers his seatmate. Why? Because his seatmate is so much more than someone he talks to on the morning commute. His name is Kim Doyoung, he’s a lawyer, has a tattoo of flowers on his hand, and he’s the love of Jaehyun’s life.

When Jaehyun has to leave, he always finds it a lot harder than it should be, but he understands.

He understands that Doyoung doesn’t want him to know who he is, he understands that Doyoung deserves so much more than Jaehyun, and Jaehyun understands that he will never be able to be good enough to be worthy of Doyoung.

But that doesn’t mean he likes it.

Everyday Jung Jaehyun waits. He waits for the day that Doyoung finally introduces himself, and allows Jaehyun back into his life.

But for now, he’ll pretend that Doyoung is just a stranger.

**Author's Note:**

> [cc: xuminghaooutsold](https://curiouscat.me/xuminghaooutsdold)   
>  [twitter: markleewyd](https://twitter.com/markleewyd)


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